Our wedding

Hello. Jeff and I live in Las Vegas, although we are getting married in Colorado. We have issued an open invite for everyone we know including our coworkers. Understanbly not everyone will be able to attend. I have been recieving an increasing number of inquiries regarding, if we are havng a shower or a reception localy, as well as a list of where we are registered. I have no problem with this. I would love to have something along these lines. Although, I understand it's not appropriate for the Bride to throw a shower. What shall I call this 'event' and how should I list registries? We don't want to seem rude or expectant. Thank you so much for you help with this. Shawna

Dear Shawna,
I might be able to help more if you clarify a few things; as it is a rather confusing question. What exactly is an "open invite"? Why are you getting married in Colorado? Is it going to be a large formal wedding there? Are you originally from Colorado? I ask because I'm sure I am NOT understanding you question correctly. It reads as if you are asking what to call an event that you are having in order to collect as many wedding gifts as possible from people who are unable to attend your actual wedding. While I am sure that isn't the case; there is no event that YOU or your fiance can host that will not appear as though you are having it to collect a gift without having to bear the expense of hosting them at the actual wedding. Also, people these days tend to ask where one is registered just to make it appear that they intend to send a gift (even when they don't) in order to escape from the subject. At any rate, you cannot have an event like this. The only proper way is to issue an actual formal invitation to your wedding, keeping in mind that only the guests who physically attend are obligated to send a gift. If one of your co-workers or friends wishes to hostess a bridal shower for you, that's fine, but everyone attending the shower must also receive a formal invitation to the wedding. You also cannot ask someone to have a shower for you as a bridal shower cannot be given by a sister, your mother or any other relative. When someone asks where you are registered, you may tell them verbally but to send a list of registries in an invitation is extremely tacky and makes it appear as though the event is being held to "fish" for gifts. Also, you should not be registered at more than 2 places because to recite a long list of places you are registered will, again, seem to be "fishing" for gifts. As I mentioned, please give me some clarification and I will be able to help you more

FOLLOW-UP: Thanks you did anwer most of my question. We are getting married in Colorado because that is where I am from. There will be about 150 people. As far as open invitiation we both work in the same ER and we invited everyone we work with, including our families and such. So what I thought was that we would have some sort of a reception here localy. What I understand from you is not to include the registry, which is what I was wanting to know.


Ahhh--that's different! If you are going to have a local reception that you are providing food and drink for, then the people you invite will need to know where you are registered, so you can tell those who ask where you are registered--but you would not include that information in the invitation. People will ask when they are doing the RSVP and then you can feel to tell them--an entirely different situation and perfectly socially acceptable!
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and many happy returns!
Limo Princess