Boyfriend of ex-spouse at former spouse's family reunion

My ex-spouse and I have four minor children and she has primary custody. My family, one of the earliest in Florida, has a reunion and she has received the generic invitation as the primary custodian of the children. Our divorce is not amicable and actually very acrimonious. She has insisted on bringing her boyfriend to all events, even those that are for adults only. I can suffer her attendance at the ones that the children would be attending but object to his attendance at any event,and to both of them at the all adult event. Neither of them have any direct relationship with anyone beyond her prior marriage to me. She is quite pushy and my family overly polite so she is counting on no one raising an objection other than me. What say you? PS Five weeks ago I was expressly told by her twin sister that I was excluded from an informal gathering of her brother and sisters and their respective children even though her twin and I were married for 15 years.--Furious in Florida

Dear F in FL,
Sadly, you are not going to be able exclude your ex-wife from attending this event because she WAS, in an excess of politeness, issued an invitation. You must take the high road as much as it pains you to do so and put up with the fact that she has brought her new boyfriend to the event. You might be able to have some fun by telling her it's black tie when it's casual or that it's a barbecue when it is black tie. (Forgive me--I'm evil--sorry!) Obviously she is extremely ill-bred to attend an event at which she must know she is not welcome and you are far better off being rid of her. Even more obvious is the fact that she is attending with her boyfriend to irritate you, and your very best action is to totally ignore her. Do not react to anything she says or does, no matter how egregious her behavior, as she is beneath your notice. In the future, issue any written invitations directly to your children, i.e. Miss Jane Jones, Miss Sarah Jones, Master John Jones and Miss Judy Jones individually so that there can be no mistaking that she is absolutely not invited. I'd also cut off any further communication with her side of the family, nothing irritates people more than being totally ignored. As for her twin sister, nothing is ruder than telling someone about a party they were not invited to attend, and the perfect reply would have been to tell her you how delighted you are to hear that her trailer park was allowing parties again.
Meow My Dear,
Limo Princess