miscarriage

Dear Limo Princess,
My sister-in-law and brother recently had a miscarriage...is it appropriate to send a gift basket (i.e. favorite snacks, flowers) i live across the country but want them to know i am thinking of them-but do not want to seem tacky.

Answer:
Send a handwritten condolence letter from the heart. Do not use any phrase such as "there will be other babies" as that sounds so patronizing, but a sincere letter from the heart written in your hand on nice stationary will mean more than anything. Don't send a basket--she probably has baby things she can't bear to look at right now. Take her to lunch the next time you are there visiting--when she's physically recovered or for a pedicure--and if she wants to talk about it, just listen. Phone her and let her bring it up and again, just listen, and if she doesn't mention it then don't either. This will mean more to her than anything. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sympathetically,
Limo Princess