Dear Limo Princess,
I recently attended a graduation party and as the graduate opened his cards the money was promptly put into his pocket and the card was passed around with no indication as to the amount given by the presenter. I personally do not need recognition for a money gift, however several people were quite irritated that the amount given was not indicated by the recipient at the time the gift was opened. What is the proper etiquette with regards to money gifts and public recognition?
Dear Arlene,
This is the most egregious breach of etiquette I can think of--where is trailer park where this party was held? There is nothing so tacky as opening gifts in the presence of one's guest and then to announce the amount and the name of the sender is simply beyond the pale. What were they doing? Keeping score on who gave what so that they could retaliate at Christmas if the gift was deemed to be inadequate?? Good Heavens!! Gifts should NEVER be opened in the presence of guests--this is an unbreakable rule and that there were guests that were upset that the amounts were not announced....dear heavenly days!! Here's the proper etiquette: Gifts are opened privately after the party and thank-you notes are promptly sent. No other behavior is acceptable. Period. I must now lay down and put a cold cloth on my head and wonder what the world is coming to.
Disbelieving and still in shock,
Limo Princess
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Addressing Sympathy Card
Dear Limo Princess,
When sending a sympathy card to the wife whose husband has died, how do you address the envelop? Mrs. John Smith? Mrs. Mary Smith? Ms. Mary Smith? or some other??
Dear Martha,
Even though her husband has passed away, she is still Mrs. John Smith--unless she remarries, she will be Mrs. John Smith for the rest of her life. A divorced woman would be Mrs. Mary Smith. I assume she and her husband were friends of yours, my condolences.
When sending a sympathy card to the wife whose husband has died, how do you address the envelop? Mrs. John Smith? Mrs. Mary Smith? Ms. Mary Smith? or some other??
Dear Martha,
Even though her husband has passed away, she is still Mrs. John Smith--unless she remarries, she will be Mrs. John Smith for the rest of her life. A divorced woman would be Mrs. Mary Smith. I assume she and her husband were friends of yours, my condolences.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Housewarming Etiquette
Dear Limo Princess,
I recently received an invitation for a housewarming. I was in shock and felt humiliated when the host included in the invitation "if you are attending the housewarming call me and I will let you know what kind of food you need to bring". I felt so offended by it and so other guess who attended as well. I know that guess can bring a gift of their choice for a housewarming. But asking to bring food is the most ridiculous, lack of etiquette and rudeness I ever heard. However, the family of the host think that it's nothing wrong with it. As of matter of fact they think that by guess bringing food "potluck" it was a great idea because they have more food choices. Are they out of their mind, when did the housewarming rules changed? Thank goodness they did not ask to bring a gift. However, I prefer to bring a gift for the house and not to be asked to bring food. Your suggestions please.
Lety
Dear Lety,
They haven't breached any etiquette rules at all in asking for food instead of gifts. I think that they just wanted to have a party and not worry about people having to shop for a gift--if it's not their first house then they don't need any of the traditional housewarming gifts. The concept of s housewarming is like a bridal shower or a baby shower where first-time brides and Moms are given gifts for the wedding and the baby. The history of a housewarming party is like that--a couple just moving into a new home for the first time has a housewarming and friends bring things for the house. But if you already have everything you need for the house and want to have a party without making your friends feel obligated to bring gifts they don't need, what else can you do? That's right, you have a potluck!! I think it's a great idea because I personally love potlucks--I have been cooking for 40 years and I know what everything I make tastes like and I love to try other people's cooking and recipes. The reason they said they'd tell you what to bring is so they don't get 27 desserts. Put on a big smile and make your best recipe in the category of what you were asked to bring, and go and have a great time!
Limo Princess
I recently received an invitation for a housewarming. I was in shock and felt humiliated when the host included in the invitation "if you are attending the housewarming call me and I will let you know what kind of food you need to bring". I felt so offended by it and so other guess who attended as well. I know that guess can bring a gift of their choice for a housewarming. But asking to bring food is the most ridiculous, lack of etiquette and rudeness I ever heard. However, the family of the host think that it's nothing wrong with it. As of matter of fact they think that by guess bringing food "potluck" it was a great idea because they have more food choices. Are they out of their mind, when did the housewarming rules changed? Thank goodness they did not ask to bring a gift. However, I prefer to bring a gift for the house and not to be asked to bring food. Your suggestions please.
Lety
Dear Lety,
They haven't breached any etiquette rules at all in asking for food instead of gifts. I think that they just wanted to have a party and not worry about people having to shop for a gift--if it's not their first house then they don't need any of the traditional housewarming gifts. The concept of s housewarming is like a bridal shower or a baby shower where first-time brides and Moms are given gifts for the wedding and the baby. The history of a housewarming party is like that--a couple just moving into a new home for the first time has a housewarming and friends bring things for the house. But if you already have everything you need for the house and want to have a party without making your friends feel obligated to bring gifts they don't need, what else can you do? That's right, you have a potluck!! I think it's a great idea because I personally love potlucks--I have been cooking for 40 years and I know what everything I make tastes like and I love to try other people's cooking and recipes. The reason they said they'd tell you what to bring is so they don't get 27 desserts. Put on a big smile and make your best recipe in the category of what you were asked to bring, and go and have a great time!
Limo Princess
Doctorate Ettiquette
Dear Limo Princess,
Is is proper to use Dr. in front of my husbands name on his personal checks?
Beverly
Dear Beverly,
Not if he is an M.D., but it is considered pretentious and in questionable taste for any other doctorate degree. The proper way would be to place his degree after his name if you must include it on his checks, i.e. John Jones, Ph.D. Attorneys have a doctorate degree too, but they don't use the "Dr." salutation in this country.
Limo Princess
Is is proper to use Dr. in front of my husbands name on his personal checks?
Beverly
Dear Beverly,
Not if he is an M.D., but it is considered pretentious and in questionable taste for any other doctorate degree. The proper way would be to place his degree after his name if you must include it on his checks, i.e. John Jones, Ph.D. Attorneys have a doctorate degree too, but they don't use the "Dr." salutation in this country.
Limo Princess
Kid birthday party etiquette
Dear Limo Princess,
Is it protocol (or good etiquette) to give out favors to children attending a kids birthday party? Is it necessary? This is something that was not done when my older son was young and seems a bit "over-the-top" & could be a contributor to the sense of entitlement that kids have these days. Becky
Dear Becky,
Your party, your rules. I agree that kids today have a very annoying sense of entitlement which I think is the politically correct way of saying they are spoiled brats. At any rate, it's your party and you can do whatever you want with it--there aren't many rules governing small children's parties since they are too young to master social codes but they should be well-behaved and polite to their elders.
Limo Princess
Is it protocol (or good etiquette) to give out favors to children attending a kids birthday party? Is it necessary? This is something that was not done when my older son was young and seems a bit "over-the-top" & could be a contributor to the sense of entitlement that kids have these days. Becky
Dear Becky,
Your party, your rules. I agree that kids today have a very annoying sense of entitlement which I think is the politically correct way of saying they are spoiled brats. At any rate, it's your party and you can do whatever you want with it--there aren't many rules governing small children's parties since they are too young to master social codes but they should be well-behaved and polite to their elders.
Limo Princess
Father's Death after Divorce
Dear Limo Princess,
My husband's father and mother divorced almost 20 years ago after he had an affair that produced a daughter. Although it took my husband 10 years to forgive his father, he restored that relationship. During the past 9 years, my husband has made an effort to visit his father and send cards on the holidays. Last week, my father-in-law died suddenly. Since his death, my mother-in-law has informed me that we are expected to send a sympathy card and a monetary gift to my husband's step sister and step mother. I am unclear how to respond to her request. After a father's death, is the first family expected to send cards and monetary gifts to the second family? My husband and I are a biracial couple; he is Chinese. Is this a Chinese custom?
Dear Rhonda,
I am not familiar with Chinese customs, but this is America and you and your husband are Americans (presumably) and it is not an American custom to send money in the event of a death. It's up to you if you want to follow her instructions, I'd send a very impersonal card and be done with it.
Limo Princess
My husband's father and mother divorced almost 20 years ago after he had an affair that produced a daughter. Although it took my husband 10 years to forgive his father, he restored that relationship. During the past 9 years, my husband has made an effort to visit his father and send cards on the holidays. Last week, my father-in-law died suddenly. Since his death, my mother-in-law has informed me that we are expected to send a sympathy card and a monetary gift to my husband's step sister and step mother. I am unclear how to respond to her request. After a father's death, is the first family expected to send cards and monetary gifts to the second family? My husband and I are a biracial couple; he is Chinese. Is this a Chinese custom?
Dear Rhonda,
I am not familiar with Chinese customs, but this is America and you and your husband are Americans (presumably) and it is not an American custom to send money in the event of a death. It's up to you if you want to follow her instructions, I'd send a very impersonal card and be done with it.
Limo Princess
Host gift
Dear Limo Princess,
I have been invited to a farewell party for my boss, to be held at the palace of a family in our community. their restaurant will provide the dinner. I would like to bring a host gift, but don't think wine or flowers would be appropriate. Any other ideas?
thanks, Liz
Dear Liz,
Flowers are ALWAYS the perfect hostess gift and a bottle of excellent wine is quite good too--just keep in mind that you shouldn't expect them to serve it the night you present them with it. Many people make the mistake of thinking they have to open and serve any wine that is brought to them on the night of the party, this is not the case. Give them the wine and tell them that you drank it with a roast lamb (or whatever) and it was perfect with the dish. They will then put it away and open it when they are serving the perfect dish to go with it.
Limo Princess
I have been invited to a farewell party for my boss, to be held at the palace of a family in our community. their restaurant will provide the dinner. I would like to bring a host gift, but don't think wine or flowers would be appropriate. Any other ideas?
thanks, Liz
Dear Liz,
Flowers are ALWAYS the perfect hostess gift and a bottle of excellent wine is quite good too--just keep in mind that you shouldn't expect them to serve it the night you present them with it. Many people make the mistake of thinking they have to open and serve any wine that is brought to them on the night of the party, this is not the case. Give them the wine and tell them that you drank it with a roast lamb (or whatever) and it was perfect with the dish. They will then put it away and open it when they are serving the perfect dish to go with it.
Limo Princess
Vow Renewal
Dear Limo Princess,
My husband and I were married December 29, 2007. We were engaged in June of that year. We had initially planned on having a large wedding because of our large families, while still keeping things simple. Our biggest wish is that everyone could be there. My husband is in the military and we found out that he would be going to S. Korea and that I would not be able to come with him even if we were married. I had three weeks to plan the wedding and it was a few days after Christmas. With that said it was at the court house with a small dinner afterwards, 35 people. I loved our wedding and I am so happily married to my husband.We have not yet lived together, though we've been a couple for many years, we are only 21. We will finally live together and will be just starting out as a married couple next March. We promised our friends and families that could not come to the wedding that we would have a vow renewal so that everyone could be a part of our new marriage. We are getting ready to start planning the vow renewal. I have read many etiquette tips that say that we should have our bridal party walk down the isle with us, we shouldn't do traditional dances, and that we shouldn't register for gifts. The things that we felt we missed out on were precisely those things, and even more so, being able to have ALL of our loved ones present. My mother in law wants to plan me a bridal shower since I never got one in anticipation on the renewal. My questions are, in this particular set of circumstances would it be rude to register for gifts, have a shower, have our bridal party walk down the isle, have our traditional dances, etc? We originally were basically calling our plans for this a "re-do" but instead decided that it would be nice to renew our vows at the same time, seeing as we will have spent a year apart. What is your advice on how I should go about this? We still don't want to go over the top, we want to rent a pavilion and have the ceremony with a Reverend followed by a chicken barbecue. How should I go about this?
Jenn
Jenn dear,
First, my congratulations and know that you have my respect, it is very difficult to be a military wife! Here's how we are going to do this so that it will be perfect and so that you will get to have the wedding you missed out on. First, there won't be a bridal shower--it's too late for that one, so make up for it at the baby shower somewhere down the road. Second, set a date, rent a hall, buy a dress, pick your bridesmaids, send invitations and register for gifts at wherever you like. Third, Word the invitations something like this (if your parents or parents and in-laws) are hosting the event:
Mr.& Mrs. John Jones
and
Mr. & Mrs. James Smith
Request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception of their children,
Jennifer and ?
at half past three on Saturday the 14th of ?
at the American Legion Hall (address)
A renewal of vows will be held before the reception.
The favour of a reply is requested before ______?
If your parents or his parents are divorced/remarried/whatever or you and your husband are hosting the event let me know and I will give you the correct form for the invitation.
Congratulations sweetie and best of everything!
Limo Princess
My husband and I were married December 29, 2007. We were engaged in June of that year. We had initially planned on having a large wedding because of our large families, while still keeping things simple. Our biggest wish is that everyone could be there. My husband is in the military and we found out that he would be going to S. Korea and that I would not be able to come with him even if we were married. I had three weeks to plan the wedding and it was a few days after Christmas. With that said it was at the court house with a small dinner afterwards, 35 people. I loved our wedding and I am so happily married to my husband.We have not yet lived together, though we've been a couple for many years, we are only 21. We will finally live together and will be just starting out as a married couple next March. We promised our friends and families that could not come to the wedding that we would have a vow renewal so that everyone could be a part of our new marriage. We are getting ready to start planning the vow renewal. I have read many etiquette tips that say that we should have our bridal party walk down the isle with us, we shouldn't do traditional dances, and that we shouldn't register for gifts. The things that we felt we missed out on were precisely those things, and even more so, being able to have ALL of our loved ones present. My mother in law wants to plan me a bridal shower since I never got one in anticipation on the renewal. My questions are, in this particular set of circumstances would it be rude to register for gifts, have a shower, have our bridal party walk down the isle, have our traditional dances, etc? We originally were basically calling our plans for this a "re-do" but instead decided that it would be nice to renew our vows at the same time, seeing as we will have spent a year apart. What is your advice on how I should go about this? We still don't want to go over the top, we want to rent a pavilion and have the ceremony with a Reverend followed by a chicken barbecue. How should I go about this?
Jenn
Jenn dear,
First, my congratulations and know that you have my respect, it is very difficult to be a military wife! Here's how we are going to do this so that it will be perfect and so that you will get to have the wedding you missed out on. First, there won't be a bridal shower--it's too late for that one, so make up for it at the baby shower somewhere down the road. Second, set a date, rent a hall, buy a dress, pick your bridesmaids, send invitations and register for gifts at wherever you like. Third, Word the invitations something like this (if your parents or parents and in-laws) are hosting the event:
Mr.& Mrs. John Jones
and
Mr. & Mrs. James Smith
Request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception of their children,
Jennifer and ?
at half past three on Saturday the 14th of ?
at the American Legion Hall (address)
A renewal of vows will be held before the reception.
The favour of a reply is requested before ______?
If your parents or his parents are divorced/remarried/whatever or you and your husband are hosting the event let me know and I will give you the correct form for the invitation.
Congratulations sweetie and best of everything!
Limo Princess
Friday, June 6, 2008
Invitation to a funeral service
Dear Limo Princess,
Is it proper to invite people to a funeral? Who's supposed to send out said invitation, if it were? Should one RSVP?
Chongkie
Dear Chongkie,
You do not send invitations to a funeral. It will be announced in the newspapers and you will telephone people to tell them when the service will be. At the service, you will circulate and issue verbal invitations to return to wherever the post-funeral meal will be--usually at the home of the deceased. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sympathetically,
Limo Princess
Is it proper to invite people to a funeral? Who's supposed to send out said invitation, if it were? Should one RSVP?
Chongkie
Dear Chongkie,
You do not send invitations to a funeral. It will be announced in the newspapers and you will telephone people to tell them when the service will be. At the service, you will circulate and issue verbal invitations to return to wherever the post-funeral meal will be--usually at the home of the deceased. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sympathetically,
Limo Princess
Fathers Day Etiquette
Hello,I need some etiquette advice for fathers day. In 3wks I will be relocating to live with my boyfriend and his 10yr old daughter. They live 1.5hrs away from where I, and my extended family live. I will be there every weekend before my actual move date. I assumed I would spend fathers day with my father and he with his and his daughter. He is planning to go the cottage with his siblings and their spouses.We didnt discuss the day until I asked him to join my family for the bbq in my city. My dad has been a bit estranged from my family so we are working on that and I will be moving soon. My soon-to-be-common-law spouse is hurt and disappointed that I wil not be there to celebrate his day with him and his daughter. I feel fathers day is for fathers, just like his daughter and he with his dad. I just assumed I would spend it with my father, honestly not realzing he is expecting me to be there with him? I dont him to feel hurt but I also have my family.. Whats the norm....if there is one lol. (besides the obvious that he and I will need better communication and thought into planning holidays in the future haha)Thank you. I'm so confused!!
Dear Confused,
To be honest, this isn't an etiquette question, it's an advice question but I'm pretty good at those. You aren't married to this man yet, live-in and 3 bucks will get you a latte at Starbucks but your dad is always going to be your dad so you are going to have to make a compromise. Why don't you split the event? Take your dad to dinner the night before, make a big deal out of it with a reservation to a nice place, a gift, a card and daughterly devotion on a large scale and then spend the actual day with your boyfriend. I have a divorced parents and parents-in-law so I have much experience with amicably splitting up holidays! My husband is an only child so it can be complicated at times, and you need to decide WAY in advance where you are going to be spending holidays!!Best of Luck!!
Dear Confused,
To be honest, this isn't an etiquette question, it's an advice question but I'm pretty good at those. You aren't married to this man yet, live-in and 3 bucks will get you a latte at Starbucks but your dad is always going to be your dad so you are going to have to make a compromise. Why don't you split the event? Take your dad to dinner the night before, make a big deal out of it with a reservation to a nice place, a gift, a card and daughterly devotion on a large scale and then spend the actual day with your boyfriend. I have a divorced parents and parents-in-law so I have much experience with amicably splitting up holidays! My husband is an only child so it can be complicated at times, and you need to decide WAY in advance where you are going to be spending holidays!!Best of Luck!!
Birthday Party Etiquette
Dear Limo Princess,
I am having a 30th birthday party for my husband. I am planning on paying for appetizers, how do I let the guests know that drinks and entrees are not paid for by me but are available if they choose?
Dear Tiffany,
You word the invitation along the lines of "Join us for appetizers at (wherever) from (whenever to whenever) for Husband's 30th birthday." CASH BAR This tells the invitees that only appetizers are taken care of and that they will have to pay for their own drinks. Nothing from nothing, why don't you have the party at your house--it would be MUCH cheaper than appetizers at a bar and you could theme it like a margarita party with nachos and a taco bar and a cake. It's generally considered rude to keep people through their dinner hour without substantial appetizers/food so it might work out better for you.
Have a great time!
Limo Princess
I am having a 30th birthday party for my husband. I am planning on paying for appetizers, how do I let the guests know that drinks and entrees are not paid for by me but are available if they choose?
Dear Tiffany,
You word the invitation along the lines of "Join us for appetizers at (wherever) from (whenever to whenever) for Husband's 30th birthday." CASH BAR This tells the invitees that only appetizers are taken care of and that they will have to pay for their own drinks. Nothing from nothing, why don't you have the party at your house--it would be MUCH cheaper than appetizers at a bar and you could theme it like a margarita party with nachos and a taco bar and a cake. It's generally considered rude to keep people through their dinner hour without substantial appetizers/food so it might work out better for you.
Have a great time!
Limo Princess
50th Wedding Anniversary Etiquette
Dear Limo Princess,
My husband and I will be celebrating our 50th anniversary on July 5, 2008. We have family out of state and we would like to send them an announcement regarding our anniversary. How do we do this, or should it be from one of our children? We are not having a large party but small ones inviting people to a lunch at the beach house rented for us by our daughter. You might ask if I am looking for gifts. My answer is they would be appreciated if sent. Do I mention gifts are acceptable---that feels really weird and not appropriate. I need some help as to the best way to handle this. Thank you.appreciate your input.
Dear Terry,
Yours is an unusual question, I think that every golden anniversary question I've received in the past has been how to keep people from sending gifts! Unless you are having a large party to celebrate, an announcement would seem to be gift fishing. Send invitations to the events you are having and of course prompt thank-you notes for all gifts received. Congratulations on your anniversary!
My husband and I will be celebrating our 50th anniversary on July 5, 2008. We have family out of state and we would like to send them an announcement regarding our anniversary. How do we do this, or should it be from one of our children? We are not having a large party but small ones inviting people to a lunch at the beach house rented for us by our daughter. You might ask if I am looking for gifts. My answer is they would be appreciated if sent. Do I mention gifts are acceptable---that feels really weird and not appropriate. I need some help as to the best way to handle this. Thank you.appreciate your input.
Dear Terry,
Yours is an unusual question, I think that every golden anniversary question I've received in the past has been how to keep people from sending gifts! Unless you are having a large party to celebrate, an announcement would seem to be gift fishing. Send invitations to the events you are having and of course prompt thank-you notes for all gifts received. Congratulations on your anniversary!
How to construct a message regarding monetary gift for wedding.
Dear Limo Princess,
My fiancé and I were getting married this 08-08-08 here in the Philippines. And we are having a hard time thinking of a polite word to say that we would appreciate more if our guests would give monetary gifts than gift items. Because after the wedding we will be settling in the States for good.Hope you could help us solve this problem. Thank you.
Dear Jowell,
You can't. It is the height of bad manners to ask for cash gifts. Also, it is extremely difficult to get as job here without the proper work visas and green cards as the INS/ICE is cracking down very hard on employers who hire without papers and proper documentation. They are now giving employers prison time plus huge fines, so make sure all your documents are in order because if you overstay your tourist visa no one will hire you--it's not like it used to be.
Limo Princess
My fiancé and I were getting married this 08-08-08 here in the Philippines. And we are having a hard time thinking of a polite word to say that we would appreciate more if our guests would give monetary gifts than gift items. Because after the wedding we will be settling in the States for good.Hope you could help us solve this problem. Thank you.
Dear Jowell,
You can't. It is the height of bad manners to ask for cash gifts. Also, it is extremely difficult to get as job here without the proper work visas and green cards as the INS/ICE is cracking down very hard on employers who hire without papers and proper documentation. They are now giving employers prison time plus huge fines, so make sure all your documents are in order because if you overstay your tourist visa no one will hire you--it's not like it used to be.
Limo Princess
Wedding Gift registry
Dear LimoPrincess,
My daughter lives in New York, but her wedding will be in Florida. She and her fiance' have decided not to register for gifts and would prefer either monetary gifts, visa or mastercard gift cards. How can I express this in the gift preferences card without be insulting or tacky to our guests?
Dear Mary
You can't. It is the height of bad manners to ask for cash gifts. The upside is that since they have decided to have the wedding so far away from where the likely guests live, they won't have to worry about writing very many thank-you notes. Friends and family who do not attend the ceremony or reception are under no obligation to send gifts.
All the Best,
Limo Princess
Follow-up question:
Dear Limo Princess,
Thank you for your reply, I understand the answer, but how do I adddress a registry card? In New York the standard has always been gifts at showers,monetary gifts at weddings. We have a mix of people from the south and mid west. They will ask about a gift registry,the B & G will not be registered. What do I list on the card in with the invites?
Answer:
You leave it blank, when people call and ask you tell them that the couple have not registered anywhere. You are not responsible for this--their behavior is no reflection on you, and if they don't register then they will receive gifts they may not want or find useful and they will have no one to blame but themselves. It will not increase the gift card/cash gift selection by not registering, it will just send the message that they don't want gifts. They need to register and if they don't then they will suffer the consequences. I know you are in a bad spot here and I feel for you, but if they refuse to register there's nothing you can do except let it go and they will learn the hard way. The most difficult part of being a parent is allowing your children to make preventable mistakes and then ignore you when you tell them how to avoid the consequences. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt and own a franchise!
Limo Princess
My daughter lives in New York, but her wedding will be in Florida. She and her fiance' have decided not to register for gifts and would prefer either monetary gifts, visa or mastercard gift cards. How can I express this in the gift preferences card without be insulting or tacky to our guests?
Dear Mary
You can't. It is the height of bad manners to ask for cash gifts. The upside is that since they have decided to have the wedding so far away from where the likely guests live, they won't have to worry about writing very many thank-you notes. Friends and family who do not attend the ceremony or reception are under no obligation to send gifts.
All the Best,
Limo Princess
Follow-up question:
Dear Limo Princess,
Thank you for your reply, I understand the answer, but how do I adddress a registry card? In New York the standard has always been gifts at showers,monetary gifts at weddings. We have a mix of people from the south and mid west. They will ask about a gift registry,the B & G will not be registered. What do I list on the card in with the invites?
Answer:
You leave it blank, when people call and ask you tell them that the couple have not registered anywhere. You are not responsible for this--their behavior is no reflection on you, and if they don't register then they will receive gifts they may not want or find useful and they will have no one to blame but themselves. It will not increase the gift card/cash gift selection by not registering, it will just send the message that they don't want gifts. They need to register and if they don't then they will suffer the consequences. I know you are in a bad spot here and I feel for you, but if they refuse to register there's nothing you can do except let it go and they will learn the hard way. The most difficult part of being a parent is allowing your children to make preventable mistakes and then ignore you when you tell them how to avoid the consequences. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt and own a franchise!
Limo Princess
Birth of a Baby
Hi Limo Princess,
My best female friend's daughter is expecting next month...and as a single man, never married, no children...I now have to opportunity to be in attendance at the birth of her child. However, it's very unlikely that I will be in the birthing room...witnessing the event. It is very likely that I will be the only male in attendance. What is the protocol for someone like me...should I bring flowers, etc??? I am very very close to the family and the pregnant young lady and I want to do my best.Thanks!Ron P.S. I know I am probably in the wrong section...maybe you can point me in a right one! Ron
Dear Ron,
No, you are OK here, I can help you. The very best gift that is appreciated more than anything these days is disposable diapers for the baby. You don't need to bring anything to the actual birth, the mother will be exhausted and then drugged and the father is the one to hand out the traditional cigars. If you are invited to the bris or christening then of course you bring a gift for the baby, a savings bond is a traditional christening gift. Flowers for the mother would be nice as she will be in the hospital for a couple of days depending on whether or not they have to do a c-section--but you would treat this like any other hospitalization except the flowers would be more congratulatory than 'get well' type. I hope this answers your question, if you need further assistance let me know!
All the Best,
Limo Princess
My best female friend's daughter is expecting next month...and as a single man, never married, no children...I now have to opportunity to be in attendance at the birth of her child. However, it's very unlikely that I will be in the birthing room...witnessing the event. It is very likely that I will be the only male in attendance. What is the protocol for someone like me...should I bring flowers, etc??? I am very very close to the family and the pregnant young lady and I want to do my best.Thanks!Ron P.S. I know I am probably in the wrong section...maybe you can point me in a right one! Ron
Dear Ron,
No, you are OK here, I can help you. The very best gift that is appreciated more than anything these days is disposable diapers for the baby. You don't need to bring anything to the actual birth, the mother will be exhausted and then drugged and the father is the one to hand out the traditional cigars. If you are invited to the bris or christening then of course you bring a gift for the baby, a savings bond is a traditional christening gift. Flowers for the mother would be nice as she will be in the hospital for a couple of days depending on whether or not they have to do a c-section--but you would treat this like any other hospitalization except the flowers would be more congratulatory than 'get well' type. I hope this answers your question, if you need further assistance let me know!
All the Best,
Limo Princess
Wedding invitation to retired military
Dear Limo Princess,
What is the correct way to address an lenvelope containing a wedding invitation for a retired military person and his wife? We have retired Colonel and his wife and a retired Lt. Colonel and his wife. Thank you. Carol Jean
Dear Carol Jean,
It really depends on the person. While they are entitled to be addressed by their previous military rank, many retired military choose not to be--case in point my father-in-law who prefers to be "Mr." and not "Colonel". Either way is correct though, so fear not--you will not be committing a faux pas either way.
Have a wonderful time at the wedding!
LimoPrincess
What is the correct way to address an lenvelope containing a wedding invitation for a retired military person and his wife? We have retired Colonel and his wife and a retired Lt. Colonel and his wife. Thank you. Carol Jean
Dear Carol Jean,
It really depends on the person. While they are entitled to be addressed by their previous military rank, many retired military choose not to be--case in point my father-in-law who prefers to be "Mr." and not "Colonel". Either way is correct though, so fear not--you will not be committing a faux pas either way.
Have a wonderful time at the wedding!
LimoPrincess
Etiquette for birthday party
Dear Limo Princess,
I am turning 60, single, no significant other, small condo (unfinished in decorating-and that's my profession), have not had an entire group of friends together except for maybe a dinner party of 6 (place is too small). This would be a nice time to get all of my friends together and take my mind off of this nasty birthday. Is it too presumptuious just to have them all gather of a restaurant and I pay for the entire thing (I would not have it any other way). I cannot depend on others to maybe 'throw me a party' - and is too much to ask of friends. The tally comes to approx. 18-24 people. I am also unemployed - I might be returning all of the dinners that my friends have supplied to me - and cheer me up. Is this tacky - I hate tacky with a vengiance. Thank you for your time and response.
Dear Arlene,
I think it sounds like a lot of fun! I have a zero-ended birthday coming up in December--I know how you feel! I don't think there's anything tacky about it, my sister and brother-in-law are always doing this sort of thing in restaurants and they are always fun. Word the invitations as "Come and be my guest at (wherever)for dinner and drinks" and I think it will be a great time for everyone. One thing to be aware of--most restaurants add the tip of 18% or so right on to the check in parties over 6 or 8 so don't pay the gratuity a second time or add a bit more for superb service.Happy Birthday and many happy returns!
I am turning 60, single, no significant other, small condo (unfinished in decorating-and that's my profession), have not had an entire group of friends together except for maybe a dinner party of 6 (place is too small). This would be a nice time to get all of my friends together and take my mind off of this nasty birthday. Is it too presumptuious just to have them all gather of a restaurant and I pay for the entire thing (I would not have it any other way). I cannot depend on others to maybe 'throw me a party' - and is too much to ask of friends. The tally comes to approx. 18-24 people. I am also unemployed - I might be returning all of the dinners that my friends have supplied to me - and cheer me up. Is this tacky - I hate tacky with a vengiance. Thank you for your time and response.
Dear Arlene,
I think it sounds like a lot of fun! I have a zero-ended birthday coming up in December--I know how you feel! I don't think there's anything tacky about it, my sister and brother-in-law are always doing this sort of thing in restaurants and they are always fun. Word the invitations as "Come and be my guest at (wherever)for dinner and drinks" and I think it will be a great time for everyone. One thing to be aware of--most restaurants add the tip of 18% or so right on to the check in parties over 6 or 8 so don't pay the gratuity a second time or add a bit more for superb service.Happy Birthday and many happy returns!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
