Dear Limo Princess,
I am putting together a surprise retirement party for a physician at a rather pricey restaurant. I would like to convey to individuals they are responsible for their own cocktails and dinner. Do I put this information in the invitation, if so how do I word this without sounding rude.
Dear Michele,
If you are sending invitations then it will be assumed that you are also picking up the tab for the dinner since invited guests are exactly that--guests.The proper way to do this is to telephone the people that you wish to attend and tell them group members are all meeting at the restaurant for dinner and Dr. Smith is attending and is unaware that people will be gathering there to wish him well in retirement and that you hope they will be able to join the celebration and that you have made arrangements at the restaurant for a group of people with separate checks. Then you ask if they will be able to attend as the restaurant will need a head count.It's not a retirement party unless the medical group/hospital or whomever is picking up the bill for the event.
Showing posts with label split expenses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label split expenses. Show all posts
Friday, May 30, 2008
College Graduation
Question:
As a graduate sending out announcements, can I have a note on my announcement telling people NOT to send money. I don't want my relatives to feel obligated as they have already pawned up money for high school graduation, bachelors degree graduation, and part of my trip to Panama. I am graduating with my Masters.
Answer:
Yes you can. You simply add the words "No Gifts Please" to the announcements.Congratulations, I know how much work it is to get a Master's degree.
As a graduate sending out announcements, can I have a note on my announcement telling people NOT to send money. I don't want my relatives to feel obligated as they have already pawned up money for high school graduation, bachelors degree graduation, and part of my trip to Panama. I am graduating with my Masters.
Answer:
Yes you can. You simply add the words "No Gifts Please" to the announcements.Congratulations, I know how much work it is to get a Master's degree.
25th anniversary vow renewal ceremony
Dear Limo Princess,
My Mother and stepfather live in Arkansas and have decided to renew their vows and have a ceremony in September and have asked my eldest sister to plan the event and she agreed to do so. My sister and I both live in Kansas. The problem is that there was no discussion beforehand about who would pay for everything. My mother told my sister over the phone to call our step-brother in Florida and ask him to donate money and send it to her to help pay for expenses. My sister is very upset now that she realizes that Mom is expecting her to foot the bill, but she will not say anything to my mother because my Mom is and always has been a difficult person and is hard to get along with, she is pushy and argumentative. Mom also believes herself to be an expert on etiquette. My question is this: Is it proper for parents to expect their children to pay for a ceremony like this? My sister just got through spending hundreds of dollars on a retirement party for my real father, everyone was impressed, which is why Mom probably asked her to handle this event too. My sister and her husband are not wealthy, and we kids cannot afford to pay for this extravagant event. I asked my sister if she minded if I get involved and call my mom to help straighten this out before the invitations go out and my sister said NO, she is afraid another family feud will begin. My sister is very upset about this. Should I get involved, or stay out of it? HELP !
Answer:
The only way that your sister is obligated to pay for this is if it was HER idea. It is outrageous and incredibly rude for your mother to dream up this party and expect your sister to pay for it. It sounds like the only reason they are having this party to begin with is because they are jealous that your sister gave a party for your father. Your sister should write your mother a note and tell her that while she is delighted to help plan the party, her finances are not such that she can afford to pay for it. She might want to include a couple of estimates from a caterer of about what your mother can expect to have to pay for whichever type of party that she wishes to have. She should also make it clear that she has no intention of calling your stepbrother in Florida and extorting money from him. If your mother wants to renew her vows, that's lovely but it's her party and your sister is under NO obligation whatsoever to pay for a party she was coerced into planning. If Mom wants to dance and call the tune then she also needs to pay the piper. No one has the right to make you pay for a party just because you offered to help plan it, and it is preposterous to expect her to do so.
My Mother and stepfather live in Arkansas and have decided to renew their vows and have a ceremony in September and have asked my eldest sister to plan the event and she agreed to do so. My sister and I both live in Kansas. The problem is that there was no discussion beforehand about who would pay for everything. My mother told my sister over the phone to call our step-brother in Florida and ask him to donate money and send it to her to help pay for expenses. My sister is very upset now that she realizes that Mom is expecting her to foot the bill, but she will not say anything to my mother because my Mom is and always has been a difficult person and is hard to get along with, she is pushy and argumentative. Mom also believes herself to be an expert on etiquette. My question is this: Is it proper for parents to expect their children to pay for a ceremony like this? My sister just got through spending hundreds of dollars on a retirement party for my real father, everyone was impressed, which is why Mom probably asked her to handle this event too. My sister and her husband are not wealthy, and we kids cannot afford to pay for this extravagant event. I asked my sister if she minded if I get involved and call my mom to help straighten this out before the invitations go out and my sister said NO, she is afraid another family feud will begin. My sister is very upset about this. Should I get involved, or stay out of it? HELP !
Answer:
The only way that your sister is obligated to pay for this is if it was HER idea. It is outrageous and incredibly rude for your mother to dream up this party and expect your sister to pay for it. It sounds like the only reason they are having this party to begin with is because they are jealous that your sister gave a party for your father. Your sister should write your mother a note and tell her that while she is delighted to help plan the party, her finances are not such that she can afford to pay for it. She might want to include a couple of estimates from a caterer of about what your mother can expect to have to pay for whichever type of party that she wishes to have. She should also make it clear that she has no intention of calling your stepbrother in Florida and extorting money from him. If your mother wants to renew her vows, that's lovely but it's her party and your sister is under NO obligation whatsoever to pay for a party she was coerced into planning. If Mom wants to dance and call the tune then she also needs to pay the piper. No one has the right to make you pay for a party just because you offered to help plan it, and it is preposterous to expect her to do so.
gift trip question
Hello, I am in a quandry about this situation. I just bought my husband a trip to the US Open in San Diego for Fathers Day. The trip is for two; airfare, car rental, hotel and US Open entry fees. He wants to ask a friend to go with him and charge him half the amount I paid. He figures he paid for it even tho I bought it and no one should get to go for free! I do not feel this way at all. If I get a trip, I will choose to take a friend and not dream of asking them to pay for it. If they want to buy me dinner and maybe some gas, that would be great. What do you think? Thank you for your help!
Colleen dear,Men are different in many ways from us and this situation demonstrates it perfectly. Keep in mind that with most married couples, men view all the household income as "OUR" money. Although I agree with your point of view and would do it the same way, men view this sort of thing differently than we do--and I'd bet my life that your husband presented the opportunity to his buddy along the lines of: "Hey John--I got some tickets to the US Open--wanna go with and split the cost?" to which his buddy said "Oh cool--I'm there, let me know what my half is and I'll give you a check/cash for it" because this is how men do things. It wasn't presented the way we would do it which is to say: "Jane--my husband gave me a trip for two to the spa in San Diego and I want you to come along as my guest." If a man said that to another man it would be viewed as a come-on for some unmentionable acts--it's a gender thing--and the friendship would be irreparably harmed. Close your eyes and ears to it and let it go--after all, a gift with strings isn't a gift so let him do as he wishes. This situation, like so many others, is one that causes women to shake our heads and say "MEN." in the tone we all instantly recognize and understand.
All the Best,
LimoPrincess
Colleen dear,Men are different in many ways from us and this situation demonstrates it perfectly. Keep in mind that with most married couples, men view all the household income as "OUR" money. Although I agree with your point of view and would do it the same way, men view this sort of thing differently than we do--and I'd bet my life that your husband presented the opportunity to his buddy along the lines of: "Hey John--I got some tickets to the US Open--wanna go with and split the cost?" to which his buddy said "Oh cool--I'm there, let me know what my half is and I'll give you a check/cash for it" because this is how men do things. It wasn't presented the way we would do it which is to say: "Jane--my husband gave me a trip for two to the spa in San Diego and I want you to come along as my guest." If a man said that to another man it would be viewed as a come-on for some unmentionable acts--it's a gender thing--and the friendship would be irreparably harmed. Close your eyes and ears to it and let it go--after all, a gift with strings isn't a gift so let him do as he wishes. This situation, like so many others, is one that causes women to shake our heads and say "MEN." in the tone we all instantly recognize and understand.
All the Best,
LimoPrincess
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