Question:
My daughter is getting engaged soon. We'd like to know if it is proper and/or customary for her to get her boyfriend an engagement gift. Thank you.
Answer:
In the last few years, women have started giving their fiance an engagement ring, but it's by no means a common practice or expected. If she wants to and can afford it, fine, and if not, it's not a breach of etiquette.
Showing posts with label free. Show all posts
Showing posts with label free. Show all posts
Friday, May 30, 2008
death of spouse while going through a divorce
Hello,What is the proper way to address the loss of a spouse when the couple was in the middle of a divorce? Should I still send a sympathy card to the surviving spouse? What is the proper thing to say? Amy
Dear Amy,
Oh my--this is a sticky one isn't it? I think it would depend upon whether or not it was a friendly divorce. If it was an acrimonious divorce, then send the sympathy note to the children (if any) but not to the surviving spouse (assuming that she is not a suspect). Hallmark doesn't make a card for this, so send it in letter form on your personal stationery. If it was a friendly divorce and/or they were parents, then a carefully worded card would be OK. I would word it something like, "I'm sorry to hear of John's passing, even though you two were divorcing, I know you must be grieving too."Do the standard offer of "If I can help you in any way......" and let it go at that.
Limo Princess
Dear Amy,
Oh my--this is a sticky one isn't it? I think it would depend upon whether or not it was a friendly divorce. If it was an acrimonious divorce, then send the sympathy note to the children (if any) but not to the surviving spouse (assuming that she is not a suspect). Hallmark doesn't make a card for this, so send it in letter form on your personal stationery. If it was a friendly divorce and/or they were parents, then a carefully worded card would be OK. I would word it something like, "I'm sorry to hear of John's passing, even though you two were divorcing, I know you must be grieving too."Do the standard offer of "If I can help you in any way......" and let it go at that.
Limo Princess
dinner out
My father, aged 86, died a week ago and the funeral was several days ago. The phone has been ringing nonstop with condolences. Is is proper for my husband and I to go out to dinner one week after his death?
Dear Adrienne,
Of course you can go out to dinner. Life goes on, and I am sure you are working diligently on the thank you notes for the food, flowers and condolence cards so you deserve a night out.I am terribly sorry for your loss.
Dear Adrienne,
Of course you can go out to dinner. Life goes on, and I am sure you are working diligently on the thank you notes for the food, flowers and condolence cards so you deserve a night out.I am terribly sorry for your loss.
Graduation Celebration Guest Etiquette
My husband has been the basketball/baseball coach of a few kids that are now graduating high school. Each of them is having a separate celebration of their own (not on the same day). As invited guests, how long is an appropriate time for us to stay at each celebration? Is 30 minutes too short? Is 60 minutes too long?
Thanks, Tammy
He can stay as long as he likes or leave after congratulating the graduate and wishing him/her well. If you are having a good time, then you stay--you are invited guests--if not, then you leave. There's no rule as to minimum/maximum time at a party, however if the sun is coming up and everyone has gone to bed, you may have stayed a tad too long.
Enjoy,
Limo Princess
Thanks, Tammy
He can stay as long as he likes or leave after congratulating the graduate and wishing him/her well. If you are having a good time, then you stay--you are invited guests--if not, then you leave. There's no rule as to minimum/maximum time at a party, however if the sun is coming up and everyone has gone to bed, you may have stayed a tad too long.
Enjoy,
Limo Princess
gift trip question
Hello, I am in a quandry about this situation. I just bought my husband a trip to the US Open in San Diego for Fathers Day. The trip is for two; airfare, car rental, hotel and US Open entry fees. He wants to ask a friend to go with him and charge him half the amount I paid. He figures he paid for it even tho I bought it and no one should get to go for free! I do not feel this way at all. If I get a trip, I will choose to take a friend and not dream of asking them to pay for it. If they want to buy me dinner and maybe some gas, that would be great. What do you think? Thank you for your help!
Colleen dear,Men are different in many ways from us and this situation demonstrates it perfectly. Keep in mind that with most married couples, men view all the household income as "OUR" money. Although I agree with your point of view and would do it the same way, men view this sort of thing differently than we do--and I'd bet my life that your husband presented the opportunity to his buddy along the lines of: "Hey John--I got some tickets to the US Open--wanna go with and split the cost?" to which his buddy said "Oh cool--I'm there, let me know what my half is and I'll give you a check/cash for it" because this is how men do things. It wasn't presented the way we would do it which is to say: "Jane--my husband gave me a trip for two to the spa in San Diego and I want you to come along as my guest." If a man said that to another man it would be viewed as a come-on for some unmentionable acts--it's a gender thing--and the friendship would be irreparably harmed. Close your eyes and ears to it and let it go--after all, a gift with strings isn't a gift so let him do as he wishes. This situation, like so many others, is one that causes women to shake our heads and say "MEN." in the tone we all instantly recognize and understand.
All the Best,
LimoPrincess
Colleen dear,Men are different in many ways from us and this situation demonstrates it perfectly. Keep in mind that with most married couples, men view all the household income as "OUR" money. Although I agree with your point of view and would do it the same way, men view this sort of thing differently than we do--and I'd bet my life that your husband presented the opportunity to his buddy along the lines of: "Hey John--I got some tickets to the US Open--wanna go with and split the cost?" to which his buddy said "Oh cool--I'm there, let me know what my half is and I'll give you a check/cash for it" because this is how men do things. It wasn't presented the way we would do it which is to say: "Jane--my husband gave me a trip for two to the spa in San Diego and I want you to come along as my guest." If a man said that to another man it would be viewed as a come-on for some unmentionable acts--it's a gender thing--and the friendship would be irreparably harmed. Close your eyes and ears to it and let it go--after all, a gift with strings isn't a gift so let him do as he wishes. This situation, like so many others, is one that causes women to shake our heads and say "MEN." in the tone we all instantly recognize and understand.
All the Best,
LimoPrincess
husband doesn't answer/return calls
My husband often ignores calls that come in on his cell phone from his friends. He's not necessarily busy with anything at the time, he just doesn't feel like answering or talking to them and it's not like there are that many calls. We're talking about just a few friends. One friend frequently gets annoyed at this, because not only does he ignore the calls, but doesn't even return the call in a timely manner, or at all. Last night a friend he only talks to about once a month called and he again ignored it. Tonight I asked if he ever returned the call and he said he hadn't even listened to the message yet. I told him that I thought he was being rude and I was glad he wasn't one of my friends (I didn't mean it like it sounds of course). So am I out of line to think he should answer his friend's calls, or does the availability of caller id grant us that prerogative?
Dear Danica,
As you have noticed, there are very few calls. As time goes by there will be none at all since even the most devoted friend will abandon him eventually and he has only himself to blame. It's rude not to return phone calls when people leave messages but obviously he doesn't care or he'd return the calls. When he has no friends, you will know why. His behavior is no reflection on you and you aren't responsible for him so ignore it--there's nothing you can do anyway and he will learn what I have told you already in time. Obviously you are a lovely and polite person, but there's nothing you can do without antagonizing your husband, so let it go.
Dear Danica,
As you have noticed, there are very few calls. As time goes by there will be none at all since even the most devoted friend will abandon him eventually and he has only himself to blame. It's rude not to return phone calls when people leave messages but obviously he doesn't care or he'd return the calls. When he has no friends, you will know why. His behavior is no reflection on you and you aren't responsible for him so ignore it--there's nothing you can do anyway and he will learn what I have told you already in time. Obviously you are a lovely and polite person, but there's nothing you can do without antagonizing your husband, so let it go.
RSVP protocol-out of country wedding
Question:
Hello-My cousin is getting married this September in Italy,-where he lives(and was born and raised.) Many of the extended family lives in the United States. He has invited many of those family members in the states to attemd wedding in Italy. While some have said they will be going, others have been non-committal,or have said no, due to the cost and logisitics of making the trip. This is a person who visited us with his sisters many times when he was younger. This brings me to the question: What is the proper protocol for RSVPing to a wedding in a different country that involves significant travel and expense? We have received email invites, and I am still am trying to see if I can go to this September wedding. No deadline was set on the RSVP. How long is it appropriate to wait to tell the hosts I can or cannot go? The wedding is still 3 months away. Sincerely,-JohnSeattle, WA
Dear John,
Usually the wedding invitation indicates a date by which they must receive the reply, usually worded "The favour of a reply is requested by (Date)". When this is not included, at least 30 days before the wedding is when the caterer needs to have a final head count of the attendees. If the wedding is September 15, one should reply yes or no by August 15th. It sounds like a fun time, I hope you are able to attend!
Limo Princess
Hello-My cousin is getting married this September in Italy,-where he lives(and was born and raised.) Many of the extended family lives in the United States. He has invited many of those family members in the states to attemd wedding in Italy. While some have said they will be going, others have been non-committal,or have said no, due to the cost and logisitics of making the trip. This is a person who visited us with his sisters many times when he was younger. This brings me to the question: What is the proper protocol for RSVPing to a wedding in a different country that involves significant travel and expense? We have received email invites, and I am still am trying to see if I can go to this September wedding. No deadline was set on the RSVP. How long is it appropriate to wait to tell the hosts I can or cannot go? The wedding is still 3 months away. Sincerely,-JohnSeattle, WA
Dear John,
Usually the wedding invitation indicates a date by which they must receive the reply, usually worded "The favour of a reply is requested by (Date)". When this is not included, at least 30 days before the wedding is when the caterer needs to have a final head count of the attendees. If the wedding is September 15, one should reply yes or no by August 15th. It sounds like a fun time, I hope you are able to attend!
Limo Princess
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