Dear Limo Princess,
If you have a graduation party (for High School) that is more formal and not an open house, what is the etiquette for gifts? If you didn't write anything on the invite about gifts, who would and who wouldn't bring gifts? Thanks!
Dear Joe,
Graduation gifts for High School are totally optional, no one is required or expected to bring a gift even though high school kids routinely use graduation as an opportunity to shamelessly fish for gifts. Mom and Dad might come up with a gift and maybe Grandma or Aunt Betty, but it's not a requirement--a "Congratulations" is all that is necessary to be socially proper. If someone wants to give a gift, it is entirely at their discretion and not required.
All the Best,
Limo Princess
Showing posts with label High School Graduation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label High School Graduation. Show all posts
Saturday, May 31, 2008
high school graduation gift giving
Dear Limo Princess,
Our daughter is having her high school graduation open house soon and will be attending her friends' open houses. Do graduates usually gift each other when they attend open houses - it seems like it could get expensive plus they would just be passing money back and forth! Thanks! If we attend, of course, we would give a card with money but if she goes alone, does she need a gift?
Dear Tricia
Since she is attending an actual party, she should have a small thoughtful gift that should be chosen with the recipent in mind. I usually give a small box of personalized stationery to remind them to write or for thank you notes. A gift doesn't have to be expensive to be special!
Our daughter is having her high school graduation open house soon and will be attending her friends' open houses. Do graduates usually gift each other when they attend open houses - it seems like it could get expensive plus they would just be passing money back and forth! Thanks! If we attend, of course, we would give a card with money but if she goes alone, does she need a gift?
Dear Tricia
Since she is attending an actual party, she should have a small thoughtful gift that should be chosen with the recipent in mind. I usually give a small box of personalized stationery to remind them to write or for thank you notes. A gift doesn't have to be expensive to be special!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Graduate not participating in ceremony, but still graduating
Dear Limo Princess
My senior son was suspended from High School for a disciplinary infraction just three weeks before graduation. He is going to graduate, receive his diploma, and we are thankful for that. However, we were contemplating the appropriateness of having a reception to honor his achievements since he will not be able to walk through the ceremony. Is it appropriate? How would we word the invitations? It would be small to include close family and friends. Of course we can not use the expensive invitations with high school logo on them.Thanks for your advice. (I'm anxious to hear as we are talking about this school year (May 2008).
Dear LeeAnne,
A small party with close family and close friends will not be inappropriate, but I wouldn't make a giant production out of it. Send out small handwritten invitations and word them casually, something along the lines of: Dear Sue, As you know, our son John is graduating and we are having a small party to celebrate our baby getting ready to leave the nest! We hope that you and Sam can join us for the event on (date) at (time). We'd love to see you and are looking forward to catching up. Please let me know if you and Sam will be able to come!You would make no mention of the unpleasantness and of course it's up to them whether or not to bring a gift. Hope your party is a success!
Limo Princess
My senior son was suspended from High School for a disciplinary infraction just three weeks before graduation. He is going to graduate, receive his diploma, and we are thankful for that. However, we were contemplating the appropriateness of having a reception to honor his achievements since he will not be able to walk through the ceremony. Is it appropriate? How would we word the invitations? It would be small to include close family and friends. Of course we can not use the expensive invitations with high school logo on them.Thanks for your advice. (I'm anxious to hear as we are talking about this school year (May 2008).
Dear LeeAnne,
A small party with close family and close friends will not be inappropriate, but I wouldn't make a giant production out of it. Send out small handwritten invitations and word them casually, something along the lines of: Dear Sue, As you know, our son John is graduating and we are having a small party to celebrate our baby getting ready to leave the nest! We hope that you and Sam can join us for the event on (date) at (time). We'd love to see you and are looking forward to catching up. Please let me know if you and Sam will be able to come!You would make no mention of the unpleasantness and of course it's up to them whether or not to bring a gift. Hope your party is a success!
Limo Princess
Graduation parties
Question:
We are the parents of a high school senior who does not want to have a graduation party. We and our son have received invitations to 4 of his friend's parties. Are we supposed to bring a gift, even though we have a graduating senior ourselves?
Answer:
It is entirely up to you if you want to bring a gift or not. High School grads are notorious for sending tons of announcements to fish for gifts--it's reprehensible in my view. If you ATTEND a party for a grad then you should take a gift of your choosing--something like a savings bond would be OK--or whatever is in your budget. If you don't attend a party then you are not obligated for a gift unless you want to give one. It's sort of like the wedding gift if you go to the reception--even if your child is getting married the next week, you still take a gift.
Blessings, Limo Princess
We are the parents of a high school senior who does not want to have a graduation party. We and our son have received invitations to 4 of his friend's parties. Are we supposed to bring a gift, even though we have a graduating senior ourselves?
Answer:
It is entirely up to you if you want to bring a gift or not. High School grads are notorious for sending tons of announcements to fish for gifts--it's reprehensible in my view. If you ATTEND a party for a grad then you should take a gift of your choosing--something like a savings bond would be OK--or whatever is in your budget. If you don't attend a party then you are not obligated for a gift unless you want to give one. It's sort of like the wedding gift if you go to the reception--even if your child is getting married the next week, you still take a gift.
Blessings, Limo Princess
High school graduation gifts or cards?
Question:
Hi Limo Princess!
My daughter is graduating from high school this year and she has asked me a very interesting question that I myself am not sure how to answer.... She has friends and acquaintainces who are graduating along with her, and therefore there will be plenty of open house party invites... Some of her friends are ones that we, as her parents, have gotten a chance to get to know and I would like to give them a gift (card with $); there are also some that I don't know as well, and some that I have barely met (if at all.) My daughter asked me last night what would be the proper gift to give (if any). My daughter has next to no money of her own, so it's not a practical option for her to give cash gifts to everyone. I admit that if my daughter weren't also graduating this year, I may feel better prepared to give her friends a bigger check than it feels as though I can afford at this time. And then there was the comment my daughter made "If we all give money to each other, aren't we just defeating the purpose and trading the same money back and forth?" I'm not sure about this one. Please advise. We are not wealthy, but live in an area where just about everyone is comfortable, at least. There are a few friends who I know have some money issues and those are the ones I would feel especially like giving a check to, but I guess I need some ideas. Is it cheap if my daughter just gives a nice card to most of her friends? Thanks head of time for your answer, Linsey
Linsey,
You are not obligated to give a gift to anyone unless you attend their party--and even then it can be something small or a card. Teens use High School graduation to extract gifts from everyone they have ever met and it's ridiculous. The rule I use is if it's someone my child give/receives a birthday gift from, they are close enough to rate a graduation gift. If not, maybe a card. Graduating from high school is not an excuse to hold up your friends and family for gifts although most high school seniors use it as a way to fish for gifts.
Hi Limo Princess!
My daughter is graduating from high school this year and she has asked me a very interesting question that I myself am not sure how to answer.... She has friends and acquaintainces who are graduating along with her, and therefore there will be plenty of open house party invites... Some of her friends are ones that we, as her parents, have gotten a chance to get to know and I would like to give them a gift (card with $); there are also some that I don't know as well, and some that I have barely met (if at all.) My daughter asked me last night what would be the proper gift to give (if any). My daughter has next to no money of her own, so it's not a practical option for her to give cash gifts to everyone. I admit that if my daughter weren't also graduating this year, I may feel better prepared to give her friends a bigger check than it feels as though I can afford at this time. And then there was the comment my daughter made "If we all give money to each other, aren't we just defeating the purpose and trading the same money back and forth?" I'm not sure about this one. Please advise. We are not wealthy, but live in an area where just about everyone is comfortable, at least. There are a few friends who I know have some money issues and those are the ones I would feel especially like giving a check to, but I guess I need some ideas. Is it cheap if my daughter just gives a nice card to most of her friends? Thanks head of time for your answer, Linsey
Linsey,
You are not obligated to give a gift to anyone unless you attend their party--and even then it can be something small or a card. Teens use High School graduation to extract gifts from everyone they have ever met and it's ridiculous. The rule I use is if it's someone my child give/receives a birthday gift from, they are close enough to rate a graduation gift. If not, maybe a card. Graduating from high school is not an excuse to hold up your friends and family for gifts although most high school seniors use it as a way to fish for gifts.
High School Graduation Open House Attendance and Gifts
With neighbors, should I invite them as a courtesy to OUR open houses even if we are not friends. We are not enemies, but if the rule is to invite only those with a close relationship, do I still invite them as a courtesy only? Thank you again for your help.
ANSWER: The basic rule of thumb in life is to invite people that you like and wish to spend time with. If your neighbors are in this group, invite them. If they aren't, you are not under social obligation to them simply because they bought the house next to you. I personally like my neighbors--I think they are lovely people and I invite them to things because they are so terrific about getting my mail and watering my plants when I travel. I also bring them a little gift from everywhere I go as a thank you for all they do for me. My neighbors on the other side wouldn't know me if they fell over me so they aren't on my guest list.
FOLLOW-UP --QUESTION: You have been incredibly helpful in all of this. I would like to specifically ask another question. Even though I've passed on your input to him regarding the attendance of the neighbors' invite, he still wants to go with one of our children without me. The one neighbor has been to his podiatry office a few times with one of their children, so he feels obligated to go, even though we have no social or real neighborly friendship-type relationship. I told him I would be very upset if he went without me and feel this would make me look bad. I just flat out don't want to go. This girl has never spoken one sentence to us and has gone out of her way not to be friendly. Am I justified in how I am feeling, and would it be wrong for my husband to go without me? I feel like he always looks like the good guy. I am not trying to be mean, but we have no close connection with either neighbor and I feel like we are either just being use for a money gift or for courtesy only. Please help! Thank you.
ANSWER: Ahhhh my dear--you witheld pertinent information--you bad girl!! You didn't mention that he was a patient of your husband's medical practice, that makes it different--and you are right, if hubby goes and you don't it will make you look bad. You're going to have to take one for the team. Hubby is obligated to go because he does have a professional relationship with the neighbor. You should make an appearance with your husband because this neighbor considers your husband to be a friend, and by extension so are you. Since your husband wishes to attend anyway, I'm going to tell you how to be perfectly polite and still not have to spend a lot of time at the party. When you arrive with your husband, you go to the host and the graduate and you say to them: "I have the most horrible migraine, but I didn't want to miss your lovely party. I want to congratulate you on your graduation and wish you continued future success." Then you walk away and find the hostess and tell her that you are crestfallen but you must leave her party because your head is about to explode from the terrible migraine, but you wanted to thank her for inviting you and apologize for having to leave so soon, and then you leave. You will have been perfectly polite and you will get points for walking through the door when you were suffering. This should take about 5 minutes and although it's a total waste of makeup, you will have avoided slighting one of your husband's patients who no doubt refers your husband to friends. Times being what they are those referrals can be quite rewarding.
FOLLOW-UP--QUESTION: Although I don't want to, I will attend as you suggested, because I really do want to do the right thing. The only thing I can't do is lie and say I have a migraine. I'll just go and make the best of it. Thanks again for all of your advice. I really do appreciate it, and you have been incredibly helpful.
Answer:
LOL I'll send you my daughter's phone number. Talking to her ALWAYS give me a headache-I'm willing to be incredibly generous and share her with you.....10 minutes before the party--one little phone call and your head will feel like someone whacked you with a sledge hammer.
ANSWER: The basic rule of thumb in life is to invite people that you like and wish to spend time with. If your neighbors are in this group, invite them. If they aren't, you are not under social obligation to them simply because they bought the house next to you. I personally like my neighbors--I think they are lovely people and I invite them to things because they are so terrific about getting my mail and watering my plants when I travel. I also bring them a little gift from everywhere I go as a thank you for all they do for me. My neighbors on the other side wouldn't know me if they fell over me so they aren't on my guest list.
FOLLOW-UP --QUESTION: You have been incredibly helpful in all of this. I would like to specifically ask another question. Even though I've passed on your input to him regarding the attendance of the neighbors' invite, he still wants to go with one of our children without me. The one neighbor has been to his podiatry office a few times with one of their children, so he feels obligated to go, even though we have no social or real neighborly friendship-type relationship. I told him I would be very upset if he went without me and feel this would make me look bad. I just flat out don't want to go. This girl has never spoken one sentence to us and has gone out of her way not to be friendly. Am I justified in how I am feeling, and would it be wrong for my husband to go without me? I feel like he always looks like the good guy. I am not trying to be mean, but we have no close connection with either neighbor and I feel like we are either just being use for a money gift or for courtesy only. Please help! Thank you.
ANSWER: Ahhhh my dear--you witheld pertinent information--you bad girl!! You didn't mention that he was a patient of your husband's medical practice, that makes it different--and you are right, if hubby goes and you don't it will make you look bad. You're going to have to take one for the team. Hubby is obligated to go because he does have a professional relationship with the neighbor. You should make an appearance with your husband because this neighbor considers your husband to be a friend, and by extension so are you. Since your husband wishes to attend anyway, I'm going to tell you how to be perfectly polite and still not have to spend a lot of time at the party. When you arrive with your husband, you go to the host and the graduate and you say to them: "I have the most horrible migraine, but I didn't want to miss your lovely party. I want to congratulate you on your graduation and wish you continued future success." Then you walk away and find the hostess and tell her that you are crestfallen but you must leave her party because your head is about to explode from the terrible migraine, but you wanted to thank her for inviting you and apologize for having to leave so soon, and then you leave. You will have been perfectly polite and you will get points for walking through the door when you were suffering. This should take about 5 minutes and although it's a total waste of makeup, you will have avoided slighting one of your husband's patients who no doubt refers your husband to friends. Times being what they are those referrals can be quite rewarding.
FOLLOW-UP--QUESTION: Although I don't want to, I will attend as you suggested, because I really do want to do the right thing. The only thing I can't do is lie and say I have a migraine. I'll just go and make the best of it. Thanks again for all of your advice. I really do appreciate it, and you have been incredibly helpful.
Answer:
LOL I'll send you my daughter's phone number. Talking to her ALWAYS give me a headache-I'm willing to be incredibly generous and share her with you.....10 minutes before the party--one little phone call and your head will feel like someone whacked you with a sledge hammer.
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