Fathers Day Etiquette

Hello,I need some etiquette advice for fathers day. In 3wks I will be relocating to live with my boyfriend and his 10yr old daughter. They live 1.5hrs away from where I, and my extended family live. I will be there every weekend before my actual move date. I assumed I would spend fathers day with my father and he with his and his daughter. He is planning to go the cottage with his siblings and their spouses.We didnt discuss the day until I asked him to join my family for the bbq in my city. My dad has been a bit estranged from my family so we are working on that and I will be moving soon. My soon-to-be-common-law spouse is hurt and disappointed that I wil not be there to celebrate his day with him and his daughter. I feel fathers day is for fathers, just like his daughter and he with his dad. I just assumed I would spend it with my father, honestly not realzing he is expecting me to be there with him? I dont him to feel hurt but I also have my family.. Whats the norm....if there is one lol. (besides the obvious that he and I will need better communication and thought into planning holidays in the future haha)Thank you. I'm so confused!!

Dear Confused,
To be honest, this isn't an etiquette question, it's an advice question but I'm pretty good at those. You aren't married to this man yet, live-in and 3 bucks will get you a latte at Starbucks but your dad is always going to be your dad so you are going to have to make a compromise. Why don't you split the event? Take your dad to dinner the night before, make a big deal out of it with a reservation to a nice place, a gift, a card and daughterly devotion on a large scale and then spend the actual day with your boyfriend. I have a divorced parents and parents-in-law so I have much experience with amicably splitting up holidays! My husband is an only child so it can be complicated at times, and you need to decide WAY in advance where you are going to be spending holidays!!Best of Luck!!