Showing posts with label registry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label registry. Show all posts

Friday, June 6, 2008

50th Wedding Anniversary Etiquette

Dear Limo Princess,
My husband and I will be celebrating our 50th anniversary on July 5, 2008. We have family out of state and we would like to send them an announcement regarding our anniversary. How do we do this, or should it be from one of our children? We are not having a large party but small ones inviting people to a lunch at the beach house rented for us by our daughter. You might ask if I am looking for gifts. My answer is they would be appreciated if sent. Do I mention gifts are acceptable---that feels really weird and not appropriate. I need some help as to the best way to handle this. Thank you.appreciate your input.
Dear Terry,
Yours is an unusual question, I think that every golden anniversary question I've received in the past has been how to keep people from sending gifts! Unless you are having a large party to celebrate, an announcement would seem to be gift fishing. Send invitations to the events you are having and of course prompt thank-you notes for all gifts received. Congratulations on your anniversary!

How to construct a message regarding monetary gift for wedding.

Dear Limo Princess,
My fiancé and I were getting married this 08-08-08 here in the Philippines. And we are having a hard time thinking of a polite word to say that we would appreciate more if our guests would give monetary gifts than gift items. Because after the wedding we will be settling in the States for good.Hope you could help us solve this problem. Thank you.

Dear Jowell,
You can't. It is the height of bad manners to ask for cash gifts. Also, it is extremely difficult to get as job here without the proper work visas and green cards as the INS/ICE is cracking down very hard on employers who hire without papers and proper documentation. They are now giving employers prison time plus huge fines, so make sure all your documents are in order because if you overstay your tourist visa no one will hire you--it's not like it used to be.
Limo Princess

Wedding Gift registry

Dear LimoPrincess,
My daughter lives in New York, but her wedding will be in Florida. She and her fiance' have decided not to register for gifts and would prefer either monetary gifts, visa or mastercard gift cards. How can I express this in the gift preferences card without be insulting or tacky to our guests?

Dear Mary
You can't. It is the height of bad manners to ask for cash gifts. The upside is that since they have decided to have the wedding so far away from where the likely guests live, they won't have to worry about writing very many thank-you notes. Friends and family who do not attend the ceremony or reception are under no obligation to send gifts.
All the Best,
Limo Princess

Follow-up question:

Dear Limo Princess,
Thank you for your reply, I understand the answer, but how do I adddress a registry card? In New York the standard has always been gifts at showers,monetary gifts at weddings. We have a mix of people from the south and mid west. They will ask about a gift registry,the B & G will not be registered. What do I list on the card in with the invites?

Answer:
You leave it blank, when people call and ask you tell them that the couple have not registered anywhere. You are not responsible for this--their behavior is no reflection on you, and if they don't register then they will receive gifts they may not want or find useful and they will have no one to blame but themselves. It will not increase the gift card/cash gift selection by not registering, it will just send the message that they don't want gifts. They need to register and if they don't then they will suffer the consequences. I know you are in a bad spot here and I feel for you, but if they refuse to register there's nothing you can do except let it go and they will learn the hard way. The most difficult part of being a parent is allowing your children to make preventable mistakes and then ignore you when you tell them how to avoid the consequences. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt and own a franchise!
Limo Princess